Addicted to You SAPD SWAT Series Read online

  "I don't know Damon. You're about as friendly as a grizzly bear and usually look about as angry as one that's had his honey stolen." WTF am I even saying?!? Jesus...way to embarrass yourself, Shell.

  "Hmmm, here's another question. If I decided to push you up against your car, pull those tight ass jeans down, rip off your panties and fuck you right here, would you even try to stop me?" He whispers against my lips. I’m pretty sure that my panties just dissolved all on their own.

  I take a deep breath to get my shit together before I answer. He may be like a living fantasy but he's been nothing but a jerk to me. I refuse to let him get to me. "Of course I would," I say half convincingly and notice the smug look on his face.

  "Oh really, would you now?" He says while running his nose along my neck. I make sure to move my head so that he's looking me in the eyes when I answer him.

  "I only fuck men who acknowledge my existence. I would never allow someone who treats me like I'm lower than dirt into my body. You may not think much of me Damon, but I can guarantee you that I think extremely highly of myself. So instead of pushing me up against a car, you should go find one of those women who are willing to screw a miserable human being like yourself. Have a great night."

  With that parting remark, I get into my car and drive slowly away with my head held high. He may be the sexiest man that I have ever seen but I will never succumb to allowing him to treat me like crap. Now that I'm not in his presence I can finally think clearly and I only really have one thought...well two. What in the hell was he doing there? And did he call me a doll?

  Damon

  Shit shit shit shit! What the ever-loving fuck was I thinking to say all that shit to her? Dammit, all I wanted to do was make sure that she got to her car safely. Hell, I wasn't even going to let her know that I was there. I was just going to stay in the shadows and make sure that she was alright. But no, I have to go stupid anytime I'm near her.

  I really need to get it together. I'm supposed to be staying away from her. Not telling her how I would fuck her up against her car. I must be losing my mind! I just couldn't help myself, especially after she went and pissed me off with that sass of hers. Who the hell compares someone to Ted Bundy!?! And now I'm simultaneously hard and guilt-ridden. I'm supposed to steer clear of her, not make her feel like I think that she's lower than dirt.

  Fuck! I really need to get my shit together. I need to decide what I'm actually going to do. I know that someone who has no problem killing should not be around someone as sweet and genuine as her. I know that I'll only end up snuffing out all of her light. She'll end up in the darkness with me. A place that she'll never belong. But trying to stay away from her is obviously not working out too well. Not that I've tried very hard mind you.

  After getting into my truck I bang my head against the steering wheel. I really need to make a plan and stick to it. I'm just about to put the truck in the drive when my phone beeps with a new text from Declan.

  Dec: Want to meet me for a beer at Home Plate?

  Me: Sure. B there in 15.

  Dec: K

  I swear my twin and I have freaky twin shit some days. Anytime I need to think something through he always right there. Sometimes it can get creepy especially when I'm trying to keep something to myself.

  I put the truck in drive and head over to the bar. My brother is fully aware of my stalking/extracurricular activities when it comes to Michelle. Hell, he's even helped me "warn" a few guys who were true scumbags to stay away from her. He's a good brother like that.

  I walk in and spot Dec right away. He's flirting shamelessly with Erin the bartender. Every time we're here he tries to get into her pants. Poor idiot hasn't figured out that she bats for the other team yet. If he paid attention to anything besides her ass, he would realize that she checks out women as much as he does. I should be a good brother and inform him that he's wasting his time but honestly, I like watching him make a fool out of himself too much.

  He looks over as I sit down next to him and gives me a chin lift. Erin takes this opportunity to get away from him while getting me my usual.

  "What's up big brother?" He thinks it's great that he's 3 minutes younger. Why it matters, I don't know but he enjoys it.

  "Nothing".

  "This is how we're playing it today?" He asks with a raised eyebrow. I know that I'm going to end up telling him but I don't feel like making it easy. What can I say? I'm a stubborn bastard.

  "Yupp."

  "Nothing at all you wanna talk about?"

  "Nope."

  "So there's nothing new happening with a cute blonde whose as sweet as her treats?" Seriously!?!

  "Why?" I'm a great conversationalist...I know.

  "Well for starters you seem moodier than usual. That means that you've "happened", and I use that term loosely, to see your obsession and you're dissatisfied with the outcome. Ya know the whole not talking to her and only being a creepy fucker thing that you've got going on these days." He raises an eyebrow like he's the smartest fucker on the planet.

  "I may have walked her to her car. I also may have managed to royally piss her off in the process." There is no may have about it.

  He replies while looking confused. " You "may have" pissed her off while walking her to her car? How in the hell can you piss someone off while doing something nice?"

  "I MAY HAVE possibly walked out of the shadows and scared her. Then I MAY HAVE also insulted her while telling her that I would fuck her up against her car." I tell him casually while taking a sip of my beer, like this is no big deal.

  "Are you on drugs?" He asks while his eyes are bulging.

  "Of course not."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes, I'm sure that I'm not on drugs you dickhead."

  "Okkkkaaay. So how did she react to all that?" I can tell by the way that he has his hand in front of his face that he's trying not to smile. I appreciate that effort. If I was him I'd be laughing my ass off. Obviously, he's the better twin.

  "She may have compared me to Ted Bundy and may have said that she would never fuck me." Not going to lie, all of that stung a bit.

  "Wow, she thinks you're a crazy as Ted Bundy?"

  "No, apparently he's more charismatic," I replied sullenly.

  Dec's beer spews out of his mouth all over the bar. He's laughing so hard that he can't catch his breath.

  "Holy shit!” he says after calming down. “I wish I had been there to see this epic failure! Jesus man, you haven't exactly been Casanova when it comes to her, but hell I didn't think that serial killers were doing better than you!" Of course, just as he's finishing that statement Rocco walks in and takes a seat next to us. Fuck My Life today!

  "What about serial killers?" Our buddy and fellow SWAT teammate ask.

  "Nothing," I reply hoping that that will be the end of it. Am I that lucky though? Nope. My day is shit and it's just going to continue down that glorious path.

  "Dam struck out with Michelle again. Only now she would rather fuck a serial killer than him." He chuckles through the whole sentence.

  Rocco looks over at me with a smirk on his face. "Well let's face it. He's really only one step down from a serial killer with the way he stalks her without ever really talking to her. If I was her, I'd start to think serial killers were okay too." I wonder if I'd get away with killing both of them. Probably not. Maybe just maiming them.

  "You both are assholes."

  "Come on man, it's not like you're overly friendly. You've gone into creepy territory when it comes to her." Rocco explains to me like I'm a child.

  "I was being friendly. I walked her to her car when she left work." I explain to the smirking jackass. Of course, Dec throws in his two cents.

  "Yeah, but you walked off the shadows, probably freaking her out, to walk her to her car. Do you really not see how you've been a creepy bastard?" And now they're both laughing like ridiculous hyenas.

  "I get that I'm probably creeping her out. Nothing I do seems to go as planned. Well, except
for making those other yahoos go away. But let's face facts, she deserves a hell of a lot better than me. I just can't seem to give her up, even though I've never even had her." I reply calmly while finishing my beer. If we keep this conversation going, I think I'm going to need something stronger.

  My brother looks over at me startled with a very serious look in his eyes. "Dam, you're one of the best men I know and I'm not just saying that as your brother. Just because you see yourself one way, doesn't mean that everyone else does. She would be lucky to be with you."

  "She deserves better than a cold-blooded killer."

  "That's where you're the wrong man." Rocco interjects "Cold blooded killers never give it a second thought. They don't think about or remember their kills. They sure as hell don't think that a sweet woman is better than them just because of some of the things that they had to do for Uncle Sam. Nah man, you’re a good guy, you just need to realize it. Preferably before someone swoops in and claims your woman before you do."

  I've never heard him speak about anything as seriously as he just did. If you want to cheer up Dec and Roc are your men. They take work seriously but after hours all bets are off. To have him speak so seriously about this is giving me pause.

  Is he right? Am I not as cold-blooded as I've felt over the years. Yeah, I do what needs to be done, but I don't enjoy it. I'm just extremely good at it. Do I really deserve a chance with the one woman who's truly a game changer?

  "Those look like some deep thoughts over there brother."

  "They ain't shallow." My brother signals the waitress for another beer.

  "Make up your mind yet?" Roc asks with a raised eyebrow.

  "Yeah. She's mine. Now all I have to do is get her to agree." I say while taking a healthy swig of my beer. Decision made, now I just need to come up with a plan of attack. It shouldn't be that hard.

  Both of them are laughing. I don't see anything funny. Honestly, I figured that they would be happy with me giving up my stalker ways.

  "What the hell is so funny?" I ask while starting to get pissed off.

  "She compared you to a serial killer" Roc states while still laughing.

  "No, she said a serial killer was better!" Dec informs him while giggling like a fucking school girl. Jesus! Are these the two idiots that I actually take advice from?

  "So, what's your point?" I can feel myself growing increasingly impatient.

  "You have a better chance of catching a snowball in hell than you do of getting her to agree to go out with you!" And he's still giggling.

  "It won't be that hard," I state while getting dubious looks from the men at my side. "We're both attracted to each other, that much is obvious. I've seen her look at me like I'm a damn steak and she just stopped being a vegan. All I have to do is work of our mutual attraction. How difficult can that be?"

  I mean sure I haven't actually tried to pursue a woman in a while. Okay maybe since high school. But seriously it shouldn't be that hard. I've got this in the bag.

  Dec stares me for a beat before he begins to talk. "Okay. Say that she didn't just compare you to a serial killer. Actually, pretend that she didn't say that the serial killer was better. Do you honestly think that after stalking her for close to two years." He holds up his hand when I go to interrupt him. “I know that she obviously doesn't realize that you've been a creepy fucker for the past two years. What she does know is that you've kind of been a dick to her. It's going to take a lot more than like your looks to get into her good graces. Face facts...you fucked up. She would rather kick you than kiss you at this point."

  He may have a point. She wasn't overly receptive towards my word vomit this evening. But come on...it's not like I've been horrible to her. I've just tried to stay aloof.

  "Well then what do you suggest? Since you think that you have this all figured out and think that your god's gift to women." I say with more than a little sarcasm.

  "My extremely good-looking brother are going to have to grovel to even get her to hear you out. And I can say in all honesty, that I cannot wait to watch!"

  Michelle

  "He legitimately said that to you?" Mel asks me sounding dumbfounded on the other end.

  "Yes!” I scream. Who the hell says something like that to someone?!? Like I would ever let him fuck me against a car!" I bring the large glass of wine up to my lips and take a long sip. Reflexively my eyes closed as the smooth liquid flows down my throat. It’s just what I need.

  Mels talking now

  "Yeah, I'm not really sure what's going on with him. Especially with him saying all of that. He's not a big talker. The only other time I've heard him use full sentences is when he was explaining to the guys how they should've known I could ride a 4 wheeler."

  I pause to take another sip and let her words sink in. "For sure. He is definitely not mastered personality." I agree with her wholeheartedly.

  "His personality is more on the reclusive side." She says. I hear a pop in the background.

  "Babe, what was that?" I can hear Morris ask from somewhere in their house.

  "Just the toast popping up in the toaster." She replies to him.

  "We have one of those?" He asks sounding confused.

  "A toaster?"

  "Yeah"

  "Yes, we have a toaster." She replies dryly.

  "No shit huh?" I, unfortunately, snort while taking a sip of my wine. Not pleasant.

  "No shit." She sighs loudly. "He's lucky that his abs really make up for certain things." Even while she's complaining you can hear the smile and affection in her voice. I want that. Well, I want someone who at least knows what household appliances we have, but I still want what they have.

  "You know that you wouldn't trade him for anything." Setting the glass down I move around the small but well-equipped kitchen.

  "I know, you're right. But seriously? He was with me at Target when we bought the toaster!"

  Pulling on the door of the fridge I open it and stare inside. Not much for a meal. Besides the wine should fill me up just fine closing it I return my attention back to Mel.

  "He's a man. I'm pretty sure that they block out every shopping trip that they go on. Ya know, kind of the way women block out the pain of childbirth so that they will do it again in the future." Probably not, but it sounds legit.

  "Yeah, you're probably right. But back to mister moody. I think that maybe you should go along with it when he tries to be friendly." Ummm...no.

  "Why should I? He's pretty much ignored my existence for years now. Why the hell should I give him any of my time? What, just because he's decided to grace me with his horrible attitude? I should thank my lucky stars that he now deems me worthy enough to talk to someone as spectacular as him?" I ask leaning up against the counter feeling a little annoyed by Mel's suggestion.

  "Ooookkkkaaaayyyy." Mel drags out while sounding unsure. I know I know! My bitch is coming out to play. Although now that I think about it. She's a lot of fun, I should bring her out more often. It would probably save me from all of the assholes of the world.

  "Ya know what? I'm just going to finish my wine and crawl into bed. After my run-in with Damon, I'm just mentally drained. A good nights sleep is in order. And I'm sure that he'll be back to ignoring me."

  "If you're sure. I don't mind hashing this out with you." She says kindly. Nothing like your best friend always being there.

  "I'm sure. No sense in beating a dead horse. I'll see you in the morning. Love you."

  "Okay. Love you too. Sweet dreams" She says before hanging up.

  I crawled into my large bed and settled between my comfy sheets all while holding the wine glass. I felt like I was eighty as I drained the glass and set it down on the mahogany dresser beside me. I waited for the wines buzz to kick in and lure me asleep like normal but this time it didn’t happen.

  My mind wanted to replay every moment I've ever been in Damon's presence. I just couldn’t figure out what the hell tonight meant. Why was he waiting outside? What was he doing there?


  Why did he have to go and say such naughty things that have got my girly bits all up in a tizzy!?! Like I don't have enough fantasies about the sexy jackass! He had to go an add one more! Like my mind won't be replaying hearing that sexy growl now.

  But my biggest question is why did he all of a sudden decide to start talking to me? I've have tried for TWO mother fluffer years to talk to him! Does he ever reply with more than a one-word answer that looks like it pains him to say to me? NOPE! Seriously...why now?

  I punch my pillow a few times, possibly pretending that it's a certain someone's face, and try to get some sleep. I have such a busy few days coming up that I really need to get a good nights sleep. I have way too much to do for me to be walking around not at my best. I swear if I screw up any of my recipes, I'm going to kill that sexy jerk!

  Chapter 3

  Damon

  This call is the last thing I need today after sleeping like shit last night. I tossed and turned all night thinking about Michelle. Well, more importantly how I can now go about actually trying to get her to like me. I'm not naive enough to realize that I might have fucked up. Okay, I definitely did but I really thought that it was better that way.

  Do I actually think that I truly deserve her? Not really. But I can at least try to be a man that someone like her deserves. Also, I'll be damned if some other asshole gets her because I sat on my ass like a moron. I may not deserve her but at least I'll try to. I can't say that about anyone else that she may meet. They might not realize how amazing she really is and might not treat her properly. That's not a possibility that I'm willing to entertain.

  So, I got to stay awake all night coming up with ways to get her to not think that I'm worse than a fucking serial killer. Just thinking about it stung.

  I focus my attention on the situation at hands. We just arrived at the lake and I can't really believe what I'm seeing. A woman in her probably late 20's, early 30's keeps dunking a man underwater and holding him there.